Dear Tumblr Journal 10.15.13 #2

Dear Tumblr Journal,

I have one freakin dream. That’s it. Its the only thing that keeps my heart beating. Its the only thing that’s keeping me alive. Its the only thing I want more than dying and you want it now? How can you steel it from me? How? I don’t know what to do. I know you’re probably better then me because who isn’t? I just want it so bad. How can you still say were family? You’ve put me through so much and I just wanted this, but not anymore. Whats left?

Sleeping With Sirens + Acoustic Performances.

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Dear Tumblr Journal 10.13.13 #1

Dear Tumblr Journal,

If only you knew, Mother. You have only me left for I don’t know how much longer, yet you still act like your son is the World. Open up your eyes! He treats you like shit and doesn’t talk to you for weeks, yet I’m still the one you take it out on. The words you say. You think they don’t hurt? I don’t have you anymore… so who do I have left? No one. My razor helps but not for too long. Music is slowly starting to fade away too. What’s going to happen when both stop helping? I cant even remember when I was happy. The fakeness of the smile is starting to wear me out. I don’t want to do anything anymore. Getting out of bed in the morning is one of the hardest things. I guess this is what its adding up to. It gets worse everyday. When is it going to get better again? Or better yet, will it? I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of everything..